First she pretends to call Grammy and “put her on speakerphone”. She dials the pretend number (actually making a seven digit number up), and then puts the phone on the table. “Now say hello!” she pipes at me cheerfully.
“Uh, HELLO GRAMMY!” I say. “It’s rainy here, what’s it like in Ellensburg? How are you doing?”
Silence. Because it’s a plastic phone and Grammy has no idea we’re calling. Normally this is the part where I’d make up my fake end of the fake conversation, but since it’s ON SPEAKERPHONE, I’m at a loss as to the toddler etiquette, so I just look at Beth with my eyebrows up, like, uhhhhh……toss me a bone here babe?
“She’s talking to you,” Beth says reassuringly, but even while she says this she looks dubious. We both sit there for a moment. Then she picks up the phone, takes if “off speakerphone”, and says, “Yes, hello. This is Mrs. Beth, and I’m here with Mommy Hollie, and we’re looking for Grammy. She isn’t there? Thank you Madame.”
MADAME. I watched a special on the Windsors recently, and I’m pretty sure I heard a head of state address someone with exactly the same tone Beth used on her fake phone to address Grammy’s fake French secretary.
Hee. Oh, I LOVE this.
What cracks me up is how much money we spent on the fancy play kitchen from which that phone originates. I’m sure a small grey plastic phone would have been a lot cheaper and easier to put together.
Last comment, I promise. We were at the grocery store today and my husband and my four-year-old, Cordelia, were having conversations on the pretend phone – you know the one you make with your little finger and thumb outstretched?
Well, Cordelia called Blake (yes, everyone in my family has an awesome sexy name except me) and said, “Is Mummy there?” Actually, what she said was “Give it to Mummy”, but she meant “Is Mummy there?”
So Blake held his pretend phone up to my face, and I said, “Hello?”
Cordelia paused, giggled, and said, “Bye!”
That’s right, she crank-called me on the *pretend phone*.
That’s hilarious! So spunky!