Sonja: The two bags highlighted on this page are so hideous (link).
Me: OH MY GAWD. That’s like NINE DIFFERENT KINDS OF HIDEOUS.
Sonja: I know! My bag does not need a belt.
Me: RIGHT? Like what, it needs to keep something over its ass?
Sonja: Yeah. If a bag has its own ass, I don’t want it. What if it gets gas?
Me: Then it’s like you’re in the theater, and you have to be all, “I’m SORRY, okay? It’s my bag”, and I don’t know if either of us could pull that off.
Oh my goodness, those are hideous…and probably hella expensive, even with the sale.
Hello? 1981 called and wants their bags back.
Ok, let’s enumerate the NINE different kinds of hideous.
1. the belt
2. the fact that the belt does that 80′s tie-around thing with the long end
3. the braided handle
4. the hanging tag with the logo
All right, Hollie. What’re 5-9?
5. The colors. Has someone been watching Miami Vice again?
6. The gold cord around the braided handle. Aspiring romance novel writers, please carry this bag.
7. The little snaps down at the corner. Because the belt JUST CAN’T CONTAIN IT ALL.
8. The pleatherness of it all.
9. The phrase “Bag a Bargain”, which, let’s face it, compares these bags to sex with cheap women.