"Go ahead honey! Factor that!"
Greg turns 36 today. THIRTY SIX. For those of you who keep track of these things, he is now divisible by 2,3,4,6,9, and 18. He lorded this over me last night, since I’m about to turn 35: “I have more factors than you!”
And then I said, “Factor THIS!” and kicked him in the leg. Just kidding. In reality I attempted a lame recovery joke about how having more factors makes you more immature, but fumbled it badly, and the torture of my attempting mathematical birthday humor went on for an excruciating minute or so, until he mentioned that now I could trade him in for two 18-year-olds.
I said that since I’m going to be 35, he could trade me in for a 16-year-old and a 17-year-old. And then he laughed and laughed, and I’d like to say I made that math mistake on purpose, but in factor I hadn’t (hahaha! but that one was totally on purpose!), and I’m pretty sure Sonja was snorting too, and I told them both to suck it, which only made them laugh harder.
YEAH. WELL. He’ll be happy when my math skills lead me to tell everyone he’s 36 when he’s 41.
So it’s his birthday, and it’s the 16th one he’s shared with me, which makes me feel like one of the luckiest people alive. When Miles was born, Greg’s Mom sent me flowers, with a note that I still have, thanking me for bringing Miles into their lives. I was so touched by that. Over the course of the next few weeks, I would find myself continually surprised by how thankful everyone else was, too. I knew that our baby would be a joy to us, and I knew that other people would, you know, like the little bugger, but I just wasn’t prepared for the way people would look at me as I handed this newborn to them. Over the last seven years I have looked at that note again and again, and the sweet truth of it always makes me grin; we gave everybody a person.
Well, Greg was born on July 23rd, 1973. And today I feel like sending his parents flowers. While it was almost exactly a year before I showed up, and another 20 years before we’d meet, I understand the look on peoples’ faces when they saw Miles. I have that look right now, watching him sit at the desk across from me. I don’t know what my life would be without him, but I know what my life is with him, and even though it’s his birthday, I feel like the best gift is mine.
Oh, and here’s his birthday haiku. *cracks knuckles*
You’re thirty-six now
That’s two years older than me
For a week at least
My love for you shines
Like two laptop screens at night
On which we play WoW
Your laugh makes me smile
Which is why I crack the jokes
I just love you so
Yeah, this haiku sucks
In reverse, a vacuum blows
What a universe!
When you’re thirty-seven
I’ll have more factors than you
Just keep that in mind
The dogs are asleep
(It’s getting haiku-ish now)
Yet their wind still blows!
But seriously
Happy birthday, my sweet man
I’m glad you were born.
dude. you’re married to an OLD man.